


The Cat

by fxcknormativity



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexual Character, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28551552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxcknormativity/pseuds/fxcknormativity
Summary: Donghun is drunk. Chan's drunk too and very amused at his hyung panicking.
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan & Lee Donghun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	The Cat

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-upload of a story I posted a few weeks ago, because I didn't like the 1st-person view.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> *CW for mentions of a dead animal*

“We could get arrested for this.” Donghun takes a deep breath, desperately trying to calm his racing heart. This all seems a bit extreme, even though disappointing his parents has always been part of the plan. “I’m not ready for jail – which gang am I going to join, huh? The …? What are they called again…? Fuck, I can’t even remember their name – great start. You know, the ones where you have to murder a guard? … Doesn’t matter, I won’t stand a chance anyway. I won’t stand a chance against any _one_!” Breathe in. Hold for five seconds. Breathe out. “I mean, okay… I could become somebody’s bitch. Not a pretty outlook, but I guess I have no choice. Do you think someone will have mercy on an asexual Korean virgin? Oh god, I hope so. But what if not? What if… Shit, Chan, I’m not ready to die!”

His panicked outburst makes Chan finally look up from furiously typing on his phone, probably contacting his lawyer, or researching the prison sentence or something. “Breathe, hyung. You’re overreacting. Everything will be fine.”

“How am I overreacting?” Donghun cries out. “We just killed a cat!”

Chan stares at him incredulously in the blue light from his phone screen. “A cat?” He laughs. “Do you really think that was a cat?” His cackle echoes off of the walls of the tiny plastic playhouse Donghun has dragged him into.

“What do you mean?” With some difficulty, Donghun turns to look out the tiny window behind him. “It has a bushy tail and pointy ears and shit.” Opening the shutter a little more, he points to the shadow lying under the wooden swing-set across the playground. The streetlamps surrounding the small play area of the park cast a yellow glow, allowing him to make out the small creature. “I know a cat when I see one; I’m not that drunk.” Okay, so maybe he is. But who wouldn’t jump at the rare chance of having an early shift before a day off and indulge in, he admits, perhaps a few too many of BK’s banging Moscow Mules after work? There have to be _some_ advantages working in your friends’ pub. Getting absolutely hammered with your best friend on a weekday? A blessing in disguise, apparently. “Also, it meowed when it fell.”

And to think this shitshow only started because Chan insisted on inspecting the new swing-set he remembered from his morning walk with his sitter child, an adorable round-faced child so obsessed with her “trash pandas” that Chan even bought her a racoon teddy bear for her birthday last month.

Chan scoffs. “It didn’t meow.”

He scoots over on the plastic bench and squeezes himself next to his hyung to catch a glimpse of the outside. “That was the swing protesting because a grown-ass man tried to sit on it.” He elbows Donghun in the side and grins. “I’m surprised it’s still standing. Well, hanging, technically.”

How can Chan be so calm? There is a dead animal in the middle of a playground, a playground where in less than a few hours children want to have fun – and not stumble upon a cadaver! “I don’t understand how you can joke right now. We just murdered an innocent cat.” An idea pops into his head. “We should bury it, so nobody will find it. No body, no crime. Right?” Donghun turns his head to see Chan still staring at the crime scene. He has switched off his phone, so Donghun can’t quite see his expression, but he looks like he’s considering it. Good. He finally understands the seriousness of this situation.

“We could do that, but-”

Not waiting for him to finish his sentence, Donghun jumps up. Despite only just avoiding hitting his head on the low ceiling of the playhouse, he stumbles out into the fresh night air mostly unharmed. The sun won’t be up for several hours, giving them plenty of time to figure out the best spot to hide a dead cat.

Behind him, Chan is making a fuss as he struggles through the miniscule door made for four-year olds without tearing off one of his overgrown limbs. He loses control over them on a good day, but after five pints and, frankly, too many sips from Donghun’s own drinks, all hope seems to be lost.

“Wait!”

Spinning around, Donghun is met with a giggling, staggering Chan. He must be drunker than he thought, but so is Donghun, so he ignores him, turns back around, and concentrates on walking in a straight line. As he makes his way across the sandpit over to where their victim still lies unmoving, the world spinning only a tiny bit, he prepares himself for an unpleasant sight and a foul smell.

What awaits him instead stops him dead in his tracks. Chan crashes into him, sending them both into a heap onto the sandy ground. Donghun turns onto his back, staring up at his best friend. “What the _fuck_ , Chan?”

If looks could kill, there would now be two dead bodies in front of the swings. Well… “When were you going to tell him it’s just a shitty stuffed animal?”


End file.
